Let's rekindle the flame universe

Him - "What are you doing Saturday night?"
Her - "Committing suicide."
Him - "What about Friday night?"

Name that movie

I'm tired.  It's my theme.  For how long will my eye lids weigh me down like this?  Getting close yet so far.  Our lips.

When do I get to make out with the universe again?  It's been so long.  Come on baby let's rekindle the flame.

It's all ocean

Pointless, meaningless words
These are purely words to make a quota
A rant to noone
For no one's ears (Or eyes)
My heart is fading in and out
Along with my soul
Part of me has left the building
My inside feels like druggy Elvis
I like food to help with avoidence
Avoid the void
The hole
The bottomless hole
I'm throwing stuff in there
Where's the land
All I see is ocean

Blind mention of shadows

There's nothing more to say that hasn't been mentioned
Nothing to bring to the surface, no new message
I'm bringing no heat
No furnace in my person
No fire to bring you
No tools to lend
No signals of improvement
Nothing that says this is good
No female perspective
Life is drawn
It's the artists perspective
Take the town by land
By sea

Memorize the lines
Or don't
Live with the choice
Or live by the hand in the sky

Holding time is wishing on a cloud
How lame is the structure?
How was the time of pension?
How is your son?

You don't know

The fence of terror

The layers they tear
on the night of the scare
we're awaiting in dress
for terror, no less
It's your hand that I hold
as the night brings the cold
the waiting brings fear
as the time gets near
why do we arm? There is no defense
yet we wait and stand on the fence

My movie update

First I tried to be a rock star.  Then I got sober.  Then I got married.  Then I sat on the couch and watched TV.  Then I tried to be a millionaire.  Then I ruined the economy.  Then I tried to replace Conan O'brien.

After that plan failed I wrote a movie script and set out to join the feature film makers club.  Where am I in the process of movie making?

As I said I have a script.  The script is a Bromance, a cheater movie.  30 characters in all but only 6 main characters.  The movie has been cast, except for the heavy metal band.  I've had two read throughs with the actors. 

My first camera man was taking forever to get together with me for the test shots.  He didn't have a car.  His brother was supposed to go to jail for a few months, which would mean he could use his brother's car.  We were really hoping the brother would head off to the slammer but unfortunately for me the camera man's brother's judge was lenient on him and there was no jail time in the sentence.

Then one of my main actors got his 2nd and 3rd drunk driving arrest within a week.  He had to go to jail for a few months.  Isn't life just like that?  The one you need in jail never goes and the one you need out of jail always ends up in the can.

Then there's the matter of my co-star.  I wrote the part for my best friend Ryan.  And wouldn't you know it, he doesn't want to be a movie star.  I asked my surfer friend if he would play the role and he was honored and said yes.  We did a read through and all went well.  Then he came to his senses and felt it was too much of a time commitment.

Then I offered the part to my wife.  It was going to change the movie from a Bromance to a I don't know what.  But my wife and I have chemistry.  My wife wants to be a star but doesn't want to practice and also doesn't particularly like me directing her.  I sensed this.

I thought of my comedian friend from Hollywood and asked him.  He read the script and said he's in.  After two weeks he said I should do a web series.  I said I'm set on making a feature and he said he quits.

Then I hired my wife to play the role again.  Once again she started saying that she doesn't want to get in a fight over her not doing a good enough job.  We started going to therapy so I figured that at least we could discuss it with the therapist and maybe it will be a good thing.

Then an idea came to me to ask my friend Adam to play the role of Ryan.  I asked my other friend David if he felt I should ask Adam to play the role of Ryan.  David said no, Adam's too busy.  I told Adam that David told me not to ask him to play the part of Ryan and Adam said that's not true, I'll do it.  Then I told David to go fuck himself.  (Just kidding, kind of.)  David has a small part in the movie and maybe he just wanted a bigger part.

So now I have the actors.  All I need now is a sound guy,  a camera guy, and a producer.

I had a job driving RV's for a relay race from San Francisco to San Diego for challenged athletes.  On this trip I met an Italian from Venice named Frederico.  Frederico knocked up a girl, who was visiting Italy at the time, and now he's trapped in Orange County with a wife and a baby.  Turns out that Frederico has some experience behind the camera.  He used to take tasteful nude pictures of women until his wife put a stop to that.  After some prying I learned that it's his dream to make a movie.  His favorite actress is Julia Roberts.  That's not exactly what I had in mind but the sound of having an Italian cinematographer trumps everything.

I have a drunk friend who's a musician.  This guy knows audio.  He's living off unemployment so he already has his base income taken care of.  He also lives with his mom, who wants him out of the house.  Working on a movie gives him just that opportunity.

Now all I have to do is practice with the actors, coordinate schedules, get money from my rich friends for a couple sound cards, external hard drives, a steadicam, and some meal money, storyboard the film, and start filming.

That sounds easy enough.  Right?

That's where I am now, I'll try to keep you posted.

Duke

The slip sign means turn

Slipping
I've said this is the time
Slipping
This is the sign post
As soon as a slip appears it's time
Grab on for your life
When the slip first appears you have time
Just grab on to something
Turn around and run the other direction
You know to do this
I didn't say it was easy
Just turn around!
Now
I don't care if you're tired.
Turn
Grab on to something or someone
There's fire at the end of this slope
Not the kind that keeps you warm
The kind that kills you
Turn
The sign has presented itself
Wake up!

Sleepy stones

Tired
My mind got fired
Sleep
Stuff I can't keep
Hold
I'm stuck in the cold
Endeaver
This trips taking forever
Lying
It hides me from dying
Closed
Don't leave me exposed
Lips
They're wanting your tips
Such
I'm wanting the touch

Tonight I bombed

I bombed tonight.  It never feels good to bomb.  One thing I've learned is that I'm a crowd has to pay attention type comic.  If everyone is talking in a bar I can't get up there with my low, awkward energy and expect to command to attention of the bar.  I refuse to just start yelling in the mic to try to "amp up the crowd".  That's not my comedy.

I can try to engage with the audience somewhat, but when they are across the room it's difficult.  As a comic you get judged very quickly.  People decide in the first few seconds whether they like you or not.  Tonight they decided to talk.  Fuck.

Solution to a bad gig: get up as soon as possible.  I have my open mic tomorrow.  I'll get up and shake it off.  Each time I get up there my soul turns a little darker.  One day my soul will become completely black and I won't give a fuck about anything.  This will be the day I can be a true comic.

Hangry monster 2

Hangry monster was mad. He kicked the wall. He tried to leave the room but his foot was stuck in the wall. So he got even more mad and he punched the wall. Now his foot and his hand were stuck in the wall. He said, "I want to get out of this room!" and then he tore the wall off and walked into the kitchen.

His mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner. She said, "Hangry monster, are you feeling ok?"

Hangry monster said, "How do you think I'm feeling? I'm mad!"

His mom said, "I cooked your favorite meal, robot soup."

Hangry monster quickly ate the soup and felt much better. Now he could shoot lasers from the robots. He shot the rest of the wall off with lasers, then he was free. He went outside and started shooting more lasers and now he was happy, because he ate something.

The End

The roller coaster

You really don't know which way it's gonna go
The tides up and then it's low
One minute the sky is full of stars
The next your stuck in the midst of the cars
He says yes but later says no
two goods then two bads in a row
With good news you celebrate
then you slip from love to hate
The roller coaster rolls inside
It's you that took this ride
The line was long and you did wait
Don't complain, it's a chosen fate
So when the next good news arrives
Hold on tight the coaster dives
Just the same for when it's bad
Something comes to move the sad
Get off the ride and watch the show
Then remember when next time you go

Keep the search to the sacred

In your words you stand at the helm
but never a glimpse of the sacred realm
this is not something one can speak
you ignore that part regarding the meek
I stand with him during the storm
I need not the world to keep me warm
you hide inside the shell
with claims that all is well
but it's silence that you turn away
as you preach the words of a sunny day
but seeing beyond I look right through
I look inside and where are you?
You've built around all that's right
and lost the love from your sight
it's not easy but not too late
turn the mask to love from hate
just like you I don't know
but searching is the place I go

Truth disarms

I used to worry but now I see
The old is still alive
The young can not be
Yet this is what we strive?
I've seen the place
The story told
The wrinkled face
Of weathered old
The life was there
The will to live
Energetic care
A thought to give
Inside is all fire
Glory to the man
Abandoning the liar
Picking up the plan
To you my sir I walk
I choose your path to trudge
The truth inside your talk
Disarms all that I judge

No disclaimers

Once more I'm too tired for words but fuck it, I write.  Just type numbnuts.  Don't think or debate.  I hate it when people ruin my life because they have to over analyze every little detail.  Why?  Just do it.  Just finish the race.  Analyze after not before.

God, I'm tired.  Falling asleep as I write.

I learned something, just because someon is an asshole the first time you meet them doesn't mean he's a dick.  Circumstances. 

Just no excuses. No disclaimers.

What do you

What do you do?
It haunts me
unoficial super glue
it taunts me
an answer lost
thought its save
couldn't cover cost
and the look they gave

Schmucks and Pricks

This is a paraphrase of Larry David.

Larry David was once poor. For many years he was broke, into his forties. He used to walk around New York city, look at little alcoves, and think to himself that alcove would be a nice place to live when he becomes homeless. He was poor, and when you're poor you're a schmuck. That what he was, a poor schmuck.

Then one day he landed the deal for Seinfeld, the best comedy of all time. Larry David was the genuis behind Seinfeld and that has become crystal clear ever since Curb your enthusiasm has aired. His Seinfeld deal is worth over one and a half billion dollars. All of a sudden Larry David is rich.

Rich people are pricks and poor people are schmucks. Overnight Larry David went from a poor Schmuck to a rich prick. Because rich people are pricks they really can't hang out with Schmucks. Larry went out and got a bunch of prick friends. Every once in a while a Schmuck will give him a call but the truth is; schmucks and pricks can't be friends.

I'm a schmuck but I want so bad to be a prick.

Never shown

Night time torments and underlying freedom spells of death and purgery along with the task of down time.  Leave me to sulk in the madness.  Leave the bargaining table, the deal is off.  What you are arguing for, it's gone.  Talk to your god now.  Keep the peace. You can't.  Solve the issue of guilt.  This you will never do but the voices truck you.  They hide what you can never be shown.  Trip.

Strange change

Sometimes it's seeming never change
Then one day it all gets strange
All the same of what did seem
wakes me to a lucid dream
open eyes the day is hear
the moment leaves of boring fear
beauty takes the former space
and thinks not what it did replace
ups and down still on the ride
just this time it's oceans tide
filling lack and all the time
spent with love and all that's mine

Disintegrating into authenticity

The spark appeared
This started the flame
It's never gone out
I'm still lit
I tried to start a big fire
To turn others on
It happenned for a little but the flame didn't catch
I had to return to the source
Don't let the fire go out
Don't let my fire go out
I abondoned the rest to secure my own
This became important to me
I have to focus on my fire
Now I'm bringing heat
Others are starting to get warm
Let's get lit!

Seeking the true

A seeker of true
changing what's there
who are you?
which way do you stare?
This is what's seen
when you look inside
answers seem mean
if you have lied
true to the seek
this is the way
follow the freak
he's leaving today
one step and you're in
direction is cast
let meaning begin
first slow before fast
more I won't tell
it's path is for you
your soul never sell
just seek what is true

You got mad at me

You changed me
Then you got mad at me for changing
You made me impotent
Then you got mad at me for being impotent
You told me to lie
Then you got mad at me for lying
You told me not to be me
Then you got mad at me for not being me

Now I don't know who I am
You're mad at me for that

You told me to find out who I am
Then you got mad when I found out

Hold it then go

I got up twice
It's alright
Looked not so good
But gave it an I could
Music started up
Made them drink a cup
And all was good
With my I could
I did that
Hit the bat
Swung the cat
Ate the fat
All in
more sin
Love bin
oiled tin
Filled treat
Greet and meet
Scan tron cheat
Walking feet
Still a dream
A better team
or machine
Then my winning gleam
I'm on it
I lawn sit
Hold it
Now go

The path is open

For what seemed like forever the path was closed. The destination was difficult to make it to. You had to risk your health and break the rules to get there. Then one day, seemingly out of the blue, the path is opened. It's an easy path. No rules to be broken, no one to piss off, no health risk, just an easy path.

This is my life. I see the destination but the path is sometimes closed. I still go there. I get hurt on the way and break rules that get others upset, but I still go. Then one day they open up easy street? What the fuck!

I'm taking the path today and I'm just gonna cruise. I'm gonna appreciate it too. I can't stand the other way. I love a clear, clean, easy path.

Monk and Stunk

Monk hit Stunk with his fireball
Then stunk ran away and bonked his head on a tree
Stunk then came back to fight Monk
Stunk turned into a ball and rolled into Monk
Then Monk bonked his head on a tree
Monk also came back to keep fighting Stunk
Monk threw another fireball at Stunk and Stunk jumped over it
Then Stunk turned into a ball and ran over Monk
This time Monk died
Monk turned into stone
Stunk walked up to the stone and tapped the bottom
Monk came back alive

The End

By Indiana Fightmaster

Shawnky and Tonky

Once upon a time there was a super hero called Shawnky. Tonky came up to Shawnky and threw fire. Shawnky said,"I don't care about fire." and he hit Tonky. Then another person that wasn't a superhero whose name was Sashi came. Sashi turned into an egg and then he threw an egg at Tonky. Then Fonky came and breathed fire at Shawnky. Then Sabado came and he used his special power which let him fly an shoot people. He shot Tonky. Then Qwondo ate Fonky and breathed fire at Sashi. Then Donkey came and trapped Qwondo in a triangle and kept hitting him. Then Mongantic came and got really big and he exploded. Then everyone went home.

The end

By Stone Pablo

Get high

I know how to get high
The good kind of high
Where your body tingles all over
And you feel warm on the inside
Then I start to feel glad that I'm alive
Things start to make sense

I should get high like this more often
Why don't I?
It's one of those highs that you forget about
You forget how good it felt until you do it again
I want to get addicted to this high
But I can't
At least not yet
Sometimes I avoid it
But I know it feels good
I wish I would just always stay high

Don't won't

Sleepwalk writing machine
time warp lighting feind
night lapse on through
friends of you know who
sure thing bet
holding what you get
hill roll tops
strong towel hops
no game end
time to spend
don't won't

Then laugh

It started funny
Then I got serious
Then It wasn't funny
Then it was kind of funny
Then it's just funny again

I think I'm becoming myself
That's all I want
And money and stuff
And a happy wife
And time with the kids

And a lot of laughs
And I want to make a movie
And then make another

And then more laughs

And then I want to meditate
Then I want to become a friend
Then I want to have a friend

Then I want to make love with my wife
Then I want to be at peace

Then I want to be funny again
Then I want to have the tools to not be depressed
Then more laughing

Steve Jobs - A great man

When I read the news I got sad
A little teary eyed
Why?
I didn't know you
But I guess I related to you
I saw a little of you in me
Maybe I wish I was you
Or maybe I wish I could be like you
That's not a bad direction to go
People stole from you
But you still were the winner in the end
You were an explorer
I like that
I've always enjoyed an adventure
This was your life
You took acid
I took acid
You then became rich and famous
I didn't

Worlds in collision

It's not a paradox
But when I'm going up I go down
It's a universal truth
Everytime
It's parallel universes
Separate worlds in collision
Pulling me apart
There's the world I want
And then there's the world I want
You say the words
But the subtext says I don't care enough
That's the thing
You have to care
And you have to care so much that you don't care

This is when you can move your worlds
Get me a Uhaul
I'm ready to move
And I care so much that I don't give a fuck anymore

Songs are easier

Comedy is by far more 
You say you love the tunes
But the man who shows his core
Has suffered many moons
To sing is not a joke
Your heart must somewhat ring
But the man who only spoke
Faces death before the king

I remember your voice
My heart did drop
there wasn't a choice
but to just stop
we sang the song
all the way to the end
right through wrong
right into friend

now I'm telling laughs for nothing and I won't get good until my heart dies

Wake me up gently

I'm tired as fuck
I cleaned my home this morning and tonight it's trashed
A week ago my 7 year old burned his hand on the curling iron
Today my 4 year old wanted to see what it felt like
He found out
A lot of crying
He likes ice now
In the last month I've spent over 30 hours watching rescue me
In the last couple days I watched season three of breaking Bad
My head isn't screwed on straight
I'm tired
I procrastinated all day on my writing
And my yoga
But I had time for two episodes of season 4 Breaking Bad and two episodes of rescue me
And I had time for a bunch of candy, ice cream and cookies
A lot of time
How does one screw their head on straight?
I'm broke
I don't have a job
Because I'm not a pussy
All I have is something that I'm running from
Or maybe I'm running towards it
It's alluding me
The stick and the carrot
They keep appearing and dissapearing
Wake me up...please

...But do it gently

My mission statement

What's my mission statement? Half the time I'm checked out, just going through the motions, definitely not thinking about my purpose or mission in life or whatever activity I'm engaged in. But I want one. I want to move forward in life. I don't want to always be a middle aged open miker who can't support his family. I want to do some shit and I want to feel good about doing it. I used to spend a lot of time wondering if I'd ever meet my wife and start a family. Ok, put a check in that box. The wife thing, check. The kid thing, done it.

Now all I have to do is be a good husband and a good father. Sounds easier than it is. It occured to me one day that I can't be either a good Dad or Husband if I'm not true to myself. How can you set a good example if you're lovig a lie? I knew I had to be living the truth if I was ever going to be the husband or dad I wanted to be. The problem was my foundation to life was faulty. I had to tear the whole thing down.

It's tough to be a good Dad and Husband when your family is living in a demolition zone. This is where we've been residing. Whenever you start a constuction process they say to expect it to be double the money and twice as long as the contractor quotes you. I'm far in this thing but at least I feel like a strong cement ground level foundation has been poured.

Wives and families don't give a fuck about foundations. They don't understad what it means to be a man. All they want is a warm place to sleep, a big bed and granite counter tops. Like I said we're sleeping on cement. The family is not happy with Dad. But still I'm doing what I think I have to do to be a man. Sometimes the man has to be a man whether his family understands or not.

I too am feeling like I overextended myself. What if this strong foundation I'm building never gets a house built on top of it? I don't want that to happen but these fearful thoughts are coming into my head. These thoughts will hopefully serve to motivate me. Now is not the time to rest on my laurels. Back to the mission statement. I'm in the middle of a bunch of rubble. I'm covered in dust. Sometimes I get overwhelmed an I don't know what to do. This is where I need a mission statement. A statement that tells me if I'm headed in the right direction.

Statement: To support my wife and family through my creativity.

My creativity I my personal truth. I need to follow this path if I'm ever going to be a real man. Only by becoming a real man can I be a true example to my kids and husband to my wife. Whenever I am stuck I can ask myself, "Is what I'm doing now going to help me support my family through my creativity?" If the answer is yes I proceed and if it is no I change my direction. Right now I am writing, opening the creative door. My answer now is yes.

So far I haven't figured out how to support my family through masturbation. Until then I change directions.