What am I doing in Orange County? Republicans, breast surgery, Christians. Where do I fit in?
I feel checkmated by life. I feel dead on the inside. Where do I go from here?
Do I learn how to sail? Bye some boating shoes? Wear them with no socks?
I've been abandoned. No one likes me. Why do I need people so much and at the same time hate them. Why don't people talk to me? I hate it when people talk to me.
Do I start playing golf? I hate people that play golf.
Should I go to church? I like being around people. It feels good. I like to feel like I have people who are there for me. I like to sing songs. Church has some songs. Plus I can sing on key when I'm singing in a group.
I don't believe any of the core beliefs but does that really matter? It's just about getting together and having fun, right? Do you think I should go to church?
I used to be scared of hell. But I like the donuts at church.
What's wrong with me? I just need someone to support me. I need a partner. I need a side kick.
I can't do this on my own. I have to find the right person. I won't be alone.
Is it weird to have a voice in your head that says I want to stab myself? I don't really want to but I still have the voice. Usually after I say something stupid.
I laid on the couch all day the other day and ate all my kids candy. I'm depressed. I just want to make people laugh and I just want a sidekick.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
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