jealousy & envy

I woke up to a terrible dream this morning. I won't bore you with the details but I walked over to my wife to hold her and my old friend grabbed her and started making out with her. I then realized that we were no longer together and she was with this other man. My blood fumed with jealousy and I immediately woke up. The dream really shook me up. My stomach was in knots.

Like Jonh Lennon, I guess I'm just a jealous guy. I love my wife. She's beautiful. She's very smart and she's got a great sense of humor. Of course I've taught her a lot about humor, but still she's very funny. And she's fun. She's fun to be with. She's easy to hang with.

I don't know what I'd do without her.

The point is don't fuck with my woman. I'm the only one that fucks with my woman. I'm married to her so the fucking is part of the deal.

I grew up playing music and wanted to do it for the rest of my life...blah blah blah...boring boring boring. I stopped playing music...blah blah blah...tears and sadness...boring boring boring. After giving up the dream to play music I stopped listening to music. I didn't want to see bands play live. I'm a jealous and envious guy. I knew in my heart that I should be the one on stage. It wasn't and the universe was off kilter because of it. At least my universe, but come on what other universe is there? For all I know, you guys could be holograms sent down from the mothership trying to trick me. I sure would feel stupid getting tricked by a hologram.

Rich people too. Fuck you rich people!!! That's exactly how I feel...until I get rich then I'm totally cool with rich people. But If I don't then fuck those guys.

I'm envious. I want what you have. I want it all. I want the love and the money. If I can't have it then I'll die from cancer that I get from being jealous and full of self pity and envy.