Life lessons with Duke

OK if you are reading this for life lessons you have most likely come to the wrong place. How can a guy who is really down on himself give life lessons? I guess we will have to read on to find out.

OK what life lessons do I have stored up in my head. Too many to remember. Remember this life lesson: You only remember what you remember and the rest you forget. So write shit down.

Alright I'm barely into this thing and already I'm throwing down a gem.

Course correction. Wire balancing.

The fuck yeahs

When you grow the people around you get repulsed.

Blame is a sign to look at the signs.

Don't attach unspoken strings to your relationships. People will let you down.

Ask for help and follow your heart. (What the fuck is that cliche sounding piece of trash?)

Focus on the things you can change and let go of the things you can't.

Find out what you are good at. Do that.

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OK I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I'm trying to write everyday and I seem to be blocked. Is it possible to be blocked while typing rapidly?

Maybe this is the point. Just write. Just write and something will show itself.

I'm depressed lately. Typical story. (Maybe that's why I want to rack my head for any wisdom that's there so I can figure shit out.) I'm not happy. Something is nagging at me and I don't want to ignore it and then watch years slip by.

Here's a piece of advice: Sometimes in life windows open. Will you step in or not? This is the question. These windows of life don't always stay open for very long and when they close you don't know when the next time they will open is going to be. It could be years. It could be never.

I think that's part of why I kept going strong with my talk show for almost three years because I had been in a 13 year slump when I made a choice to get out of the creative window. I didn't want to go back.

I really relate to that movie awakenings with Robert Dinero, directed by Penny Marshall. That movie didn't get great reviews but it felt like it captured my life. This guy was in a coma state where he couldn't move his body or talk for over 30 years. They gave him a drug and he came to life. He danced. He was a normal person. Unfortunately the drug wore off and he went back to the dormant state. It was sad. I cried.

It was my life.

I've only been alive for brief, fleeting moments. Sometimes a window will come by and when you step through it you feel alive. I didn't want to give that up. I don't want to be dead.

Grown ups tell me that I'm ridiculous. I'm immature. I'm childish. I can't help it. I want to be awake. I want out of the dream. I want the real thing.

Some is not enough. I want it all. I want it now.

No advice here, just another wanderer trying to find his way. Where do I go? I want the signs to be clearer. I want the directions to be louder. I want GPS for life but it doesn't exist.

Maybe she was right. The girl that said you make choices and then the world turns out the way it's going to turn out and you live with that.

I want the feeling that what I am doing is the right thing. I've had glimpses. I know I could feel complete but I just can't get a grasp on it.

No one is there I guess. Everyone who says they are is a guru lier trying to make a buck and get laid. Who isn't trying to do that?

I want to be the best. I want to be adored. OH fuck did I just write that shit. It's true. I want people to look at me with respect.

Who am I some guy joining an inner-city gang or Rodney Dangerfield?

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Blocked or not I did my job. I showed up. Showing up is my biggest asset. It's also my liability. What do you do when your asset is your liability?

Get a job in show business.