I'm watching you!

I recently broke my 2 and a half year streak and took a job. It's the perfect job for me, I take pictures of people working to make sure that they're working. A company flies me around the country, puts me up in a hotel room, rents me a car, gives me a camera and says, "Make sure these guys are working."

Sounds like a big brother thing huh? I suppose it is. It's not as bad as it sounds and it's not as "James Bond" as you might imagine. I'm working outside. The workers are all outside. I'm not really sneaking around, the workers know I'm there. Some people with my position are like rent a cops who take their job way too serious. They think they need to be total micromanaging pricks to the people working.

The people I'm watching work, don't have the easiest job. It's 104 degrees out and they're walking from house to house four 10 hours straight. I'm in my car and have A/C. Those rent a cops like to show people who's boss. They want to be the man. They demand respect and the way they demand respect is by belittling people.

Have you ever respected someone more after he made you feel like shit? I can't stand this type of person. The people that think they know everything.

A little tangent. One of my character defects: I can't stand people that are full of shit. People that talk like they know everything about a subject, but you can just smell their bullshit. I hate it when a person starts yapping about something, I know he's completely full of shit, but I can't prove it. I have the memory of an elephant for this shit. I look at them and listen. As I listen I think to myself, "You are so full of shit." But I say nothing. And every word that they say somehow gets saved to the permanent hard drive in my brain.

Now it's a waiting game. Could be a month, a year, five years, it doesn't matter to me but the time will come. There always seems to come a time when the information that I didn't know at that time becomes available to the two of us or time wen the person full of shit has completely forgotten what they were talking about and they start to contradict themselves.

I am the king at this. It's my patience. It's the fact that I don't fight it at the beginning but instead I let them dig their grave by giving me all the ammunition I will ever need to destroy them in the future. And when that day finally arrives I deliver with impeccable timing. I'll say, "But weren't you saying the exact opposite thing the other day?" "Didn't you say with complete conviction something different that one time?"

Basically because I couldn't call them on their shit at the time I wait until I have absolute proof and I say, not in these words, "You are a liar. You are full of shit. I guess you're a complete fraud. Is everything you say completely untrue?"

These people love to bullshit, but they hate to be wrong. They love to put on the facade that "they know everything" and when someone is able to definitely smash that image in a way that is inarguably unmistakable, it just fucks with them in such a way that I apparently can't get enough of it.

I don't know what that says of me, but it probably says that I'm fucked up on an even higher level.

So I don't like to treat people like shit. This is my wrap to the workers and usually they are kind of bummed that I'm there when they first see me. I say, "What's up guys? I'm just here to tell the company that you are doing a great job. I'm going to take some pictures of you guys working and the work you've done so I can report back how great you're doing."

What's so hard about saying that? Phil Jackson says that when coaching he's learned that you need to give 5 compliments for every criticism. If it's all criticism you drive people into the dirt. Let the workers know you're happy with them. Good job. Everyone wants to be appreciated. If something goes wrong let them know, but don't be a dick.

If you are a boss and you're never around and people don't get any feedback on how they're doing, they're going to stop giving a fuck. They're gonna slack. That's why you hire me. But I don't have to be an asshole. If you're motivating people to work let them know you care, that you're working on this too, you're on the same team and then people won't hate you as much. Be present, let people know how they're doing. Let them know you're there and you give a fuck so they don't slack. And then just be cool, don't be a dick. That's how I see things.

So that's what I do. I travel around and take pictures. Then I have the night to myself to do stand up comedy. Right now life is pretty good.