The thirst to leave

Brick walls
Endless halls
Mixing talls
Over falls
Leading down
Bleeding frown
Believing clown
Deceiving drown
Money's gone
love is wrong
Fading lawn
Dreamful pawn
Just to fly?
If not die?
And asking why
is dumb to try?
Forgetting thought
It's all you've got
To think what not
Is all forgot
Walk from hell
Don't try and tell
Forget the spell
Or when you fell
Just get the turn
Away from burn
It's what to learn
Before adjourn
Step the first
It's the worst
But soon the thirst
To leave the cursed

Next and now - the paradox

The paradox of now and next
I need to stay now
I need to get next
Now is everything
What's now is not enough
I must live now
But today's now becomes tommorrow
I need to stay in today
I see so many is yesterday
Like a dream
I need to leave the dream
I need to still dream
I'm ready for next
This moves me
I need to move
I need to turn
Every scene needs to turn

I want this for you

It's what I want to give you
But the giving is hard
It's what I want for you
But it's too tough for love
Not now can I be here
Not now can I sing
It's later when the gold is seen
It's later in the dream
It's what I want for you
But I know it's right for me
Something that easily slips
Yet it stands in front so clean
I want it now
That's my downfall
I want the taste
I want to forget
I want to avoid the pain
The knots are tied
My stomach crawls
The spiders live
Inside these walls
My web is deep
That part can't move
The web is strong
And the life is growing weak
I want this for you
Not that
I want what I know is true
I want that for you
I want it to

I wish I knew what to do

I wanted you so bad
I didn't know how to go about it
Then I learned how
I was taught
Or maybe I read a book
Then I used the knowledge
I got you
It was good
Then I let you go
I was just ok then
Next I wanted her
Did the same thing
Got her
Let her go
Then I was just ok
At this point I wanted you back
I knew what to do
I remembered everything from the book
But I didn't want to do it
It was too much work
I didn't get you
Then I got depressed
I used to wish I knew what to do
Then I learned
Now I know and don't want to do it
Now I want another
I wish I knew what to do
I swear I would do it
And then I'll get it
And then I'll let it go
Then I'll be just ok
Then I'll want it back
But I won't want to do what it is I have to do
Repeat cycle

I do really wish I knew for this new thing

Wherever I am

It's always the best place
It's the place I wanted
Wherever I live
It's better than anywhere
Yoga
Jujitsu
Surfing
Sun
Friends
Cool people
Music
Film
Laughing
History
Love

365 days today

One year
Every day for one year
365 days...in a row

The seeker needs order
The creator needs order

The walker needs a path
I've been walking the path

One year

Everyday I write
Every day I do my yoga
I meditate
I enter the realm

365 days

This is my path
I choose
I want order in my life
I want to create
I want to be a vessel

It's my habit
My replacement
My path

Where does it lead?
It's my life
I'm reckless with my order
I don't want to loose it

I'm following the signs
Building the road
Opening the doors

The wash to be

Tired body sleep
The day is long
The attempted leap
Has taken the strong
Eyes close to dark
The astral has awoke
This walk to the park
With ghostly folk
Limits reason
Here on earth
Clear this season
Here comes the birth
This is crazy
In their eyes
They see lazy
When this thing dies
What was knowing
In the minds
Was not glowings
Only blinds
Walk the fear
It's only smoke
It seems so near
That's the joke
Keep the path
Seek the tree
Take the bath
the wash to be