No fault saving

Help was on the way
you reached out your hand
this is why I bleed
I can't understand
to be the lie
the lock in the vault
it's all there and
and no one was at fault
sleep l

It fits

It's been dark
too dark to see
I've been lost
inside of me
it's been cold
too cold to walk
I've been frozen
and couldn't talk
but I saw a glimpse
of beautiful light
it came in the middle
of the New Mexico night
I'm starting to thaw
and open my eyes
something's new
beyond the cries
sometimes things are good
inside to my heart
it comes from nowhere
but it fits the part

Last day in New Mexico

It's the end of my full last day in Albuquerque. I really like it here. The people are very friendly, they seem to have accepted me for some strange reason. I got hooked up with just regular cool people and I became aquainted with the local comedy scene. The comedians are funny and they are all supportive.

On this trip my actions made someone cry. I'm a narc for my profession. I caught someone doing something and I narced. I don't know if I can narc anymore. I wish I could travel to places without the narc part. I'm not supposed to bust people, I'm supposed to be getting busted.

Anyways, thank you to the spirit of
New Mexico.

Dead rose alive

I was never last but I was never first
this times different in a way
this time someone has lifted the curse
this is the year of a new day
the dead rose has come back to life
I was awake and I remember that
I remember the day we made the alliance
the week that burned all the fat
we played for crowds of fans
we signed paper plates for girls
our radio interview was unplanned
but we were ruling our own world
how was something so perfect then
so much magic made me take a different look
letting go of the concept of sin
and taking the moment to write a new book
I love our book and the spirit inside
this is the way the ancients felt
our time had stopped there wasn't even pride
It was contagious made fear melt
I've got it again and I write this to you
I see inside your gut to something lost
it's just covered but it's as good as new
let's play again it's worth any cost

Unsolicited advice

When you're not doing well in life people tend to give you a lot of advice. It's usually advice that you didn't ask for. I think it was Todd Glass who said that comedians really can't give other comics advice because essentially all they are doing is telling the other comic how to be more like them. That's only going to fuck the comic up. The comic is on a journey. The first part of the journey is about making people laugh, a lot. The second part is about finding out who they truly are and becoming that person on stage. Even if they are just playing a character it's a character that came from inside themselves. It's something that's coming from the truth within you.

No one knows what's going on inside you. That's a solo expedition. You're on your own. You can get half way successful by following some bullshit path that your parents forced down your throat but true success comes from within. So why the advice? Because people don't like it when other people are getting away with something. "I followed daddy's rules, why isn't he?"

Maybe with some outward labels that say he's winning at the game of life he feels he can tell you what you're doing wrong. Look inside. And keep looking, this is where the gold is, and fuck all the sell outs. Anyone who ignored the inner universe to make daddy happy is no one to listen too.

There is an exception. The reason why most comics can't write jokes for other comics is because they only know their own voice. But there is a special breed of comic that is so aware he can understand your voice and write for it. The thing is you can't work with this guy until you have taken that journey within and discovered your voice. Judd Appatow is one of those guys. Don't take advice from anyone who doesn't have the character and an example of living that you really want. Other than those guys you are better off looking within, like I said there's gold in there.

Something that could

Remember when you're alive
try to stay calm
This is the moment you've wanted
it's in your palm
breath in
take a look around
It's so simple
To see what you've found
I have love
From both places
I see God in many faces
A template for life
It can't be seen
It's moments of glory
and the space in between
The nothing
This stuff is good
The nothing is something
It's something that could

Use then loose

The words are guides
don't hold on
from all sides
illusions spawn
use the tools
from the box
heavens fools
throw the rocks
but somewhere deep
the words lead
till you reap
the fruit of seed
the sacred place
remains unknown
with words that race
for weeds have grown
it's just your mind
let it go
make the find
it takes so slow