See you in still

I'm sitting down

So I guess now is a good time

Tell me

Where were you?

I think I know

I want to hear from you

These voices lie 

These are your voices

Worse than trying

Worse than silence

Few people won't run

The stillness cuts

It's too much

I guess that's where I'm going

I'll see you in still

Waiting for something

I've seen others in that place
But now I feel myself there
It's like I'm high
And I want to go down
It's an anxious waiting feeling
I sense something building
But I don't want to trip
I don't want to dissolve
I want the door that enters into
The place where dreams are made
I know it's not a pretty place
But I want in this room
I want to disappear in this room
I want to hide there
I'm too vulnerable out here
I'm waiting and am holding on
That's part of the thing
You can't go anywhere if you don't let go
I guess I'm a little scared
That I'll vanish

Not by choice

I can't sleep

I know this feeling

There's a storm coming

My insides are twisting

I say I want peace

Am I a liar?

I want to win

But the victory is transparent 

What am I?

This dream

It's like I keep waking up

I like sleep

But it scares me

I've seen god

He wasn't there 

The hills are gone

It's a desert

The man is a ghost 

I'm not here

Not usually 

The separation kills me

I'm choking

My neck 

I feel it there

I'm weak with strength

I want you

The beauty of the song

It haunts me

My love terrifies me

My heart is smashed

And glued

I won't leave

Not on my own accord

Embark

One more round 

A quiet sound

An unseen fog

An underdog

I am him

And we are them

The sunken gem

Amongst the men

Lend and send

My mind will bend

Until it's there

From nowhere

Feel the air

Sit and stare

Find the still

That fits the bill

I'm all and all

The one to fall

My old is gold

And does unfold

Unto the front

Of my hunt 

My eye to you

Looking through

I steal the dark

Embark

Average

I'm average

Nothing great

Run of the mill

I'm crazy in a way

Trying to pass

For above average

Fuck it all

I represent

I'm average

All the average fucks out there

I am you

Pay attention

Trouble is a weird thing

It just shows it's head

I swear I'm doing all the right things

It was the fight

But it's the crazy normality

It's something that doesn't feel right

It's one of those things that I'm sensing

Kicking doesn't help

Sometimes I'm not sure cutting works

Look at it

I'm falling asleep

It's mine

I don't care if it was phantom

The feel was right

It still feels good

I saw the worst last night

The bad delivered with a smile

I'm still here

The river has not dried

I'm alive 

The circle

This is my own

I've always wanted it

It's something that I can hold

I can work with the circle

River

I wrote songs

Something new

From the sphere

The warmth

I'm returning 

But there's a strange feeling

In my neck

I'm choking

Just the feeling

I used to feel this as a child

I'm clearing the way

But as I do this comes to me

It's funny now

It doesn't bother me

I used to freeze

To shake

To squirm

But now I'm just present

Without judgement 

I don't want to be bad

I'm attracted to the warm

The circle

In my body

Where am I in my body?

Do you know?

The music is returning

It's also strange

It's a river

That's what I heard

I think I'm there

Hotel dream

I was running

I was waiting

I was angry

I was fast

I was climbing 

Exploring 

In the end I was hiding

In the dark

The police were chasing my person

I was in the shadows

Someone was approaching me

I didn't know if he was an enemy or a friend

When he got close I woke

Before that there were French fries

Late fries 

I was in socks

The floor was wet

Before that there was an elevator

Hotel dream

I was running

I was waiting

I was angry

I was fast

I was climbing 

Exploring 

In the end I was hiding

In the dark

The police were chasing my person

I was in the shadows

Someone was approaching me

I didn't know if he was an enemy or a friend

When he got close I woke

Before that there were French fries

Late fries 

I was in socks

The floor was wet

Before that there was an elevator

Probably

No one said that building an empire was going to be easy

Everyone wants to bring down the king

Even if no one knows he's the king

The voices in his head are calling for his head

Why do the voices want an outcome that will lead to their demise?

The voices in my head are like republicans who vote against their own interest

Do the voices in my head feel there is a better situation?

Who are they?

Why so many voices?

It's getting loud in here

I can't hear with all the screaming

Die

And they tell me the same

It's war

I want death

They want death

And no one wins

What does a guy have to do to acheive victory around here?

Surrender? 

Probably

What does a guy have to do to get answers around here?

Stop asking questions?

Probably

Glass of chaos

I'm so close all the time

It's constantly as if it could go both ways

Dark or light

Stress or free

It's jail or flight

Seems to be running

But more like a dream

I almost escape my head sometimes

I feel high

Then I'm pulled back in

But I remember

I'm building

I guess I'll continue 

I'm trying to enjoy myself

I laugh more

I cried

Or at least I felt close

It's getting better

But it's like I'm on the other side of a glass wall

Beyond the glass is a nightmare

My side of the glass is like a Carwash 

I see the car going through

I'm inside but I'm touching the glass of chaos

You first

Waiting waiting waiting for nothing

Expecting expecting expecting

You're not fucking pregnant!

Hoping and dreaming

It fades

You're left behind

Memories are bullshit

They're pretend

They're nothing

Except the death

This brings the memories of regret

Memories are everything 

But they're not for the weak in spirit

Don't be a coward

We have too many

We're all scared already

Be scared

You can't help that

Walk straight into the thought

Walk straight into the worst case

I've been there

It all eventually evaporates

It's not real

Nothing is

Unless you say it is

Some type of a circle

I'm beyond lost now

I could say it's dark but it's more than that

I have quiet periods

I see colors

I'm high

But sometimes I'm in too much pain

It's all there

As ugly as I can be

I am beautiful

I hate this

But this is life

I can't seem to embrace this truth

But unfortunately truth eventually embraces us all

I didn't think I could still stand

But my legs work

Today I got up and walked

I'm not here but I am somewhere

It's not the end

I'm back again

It's some type of a circle

Closing moss

Restless jabs into dark unknown 

They don't pay well

Not for years if any

Words that penetrate are outlawed

Or ignored

The interest in things unlawful 

The pain removal for the masses

You chose this hell

But you've forgotten 

The forgetting is double bladed

Mercy

Words of redemption 

Don't beleive it

No one leaves

The end takes a lifetime 

And that lifetime leaves scars

It all disintegrates into the first

It's that way for me

Sleep sinking angst

Midnight crumbles

Bursting inner pockets

And hope dried talk

It's effective 

It keeps me awake

I float good for a weighted man

Tired dry landscape

Heated sand

And waves of gas in the air

The rush includes novelty

But it's the known that kills

It's always familiar

At least that's how it's been for me

It's expected

Bury me with your intentions

In a stone mausoleum

Your dreams have the weight

Your added extensions

Of afterthought 

Arrive never too late

Not like your touch

Your beautiful smile

Delivers the cameras invitation

A small token 

Of something stolen

To cement our relation

I sleep in the other

Forever and all

It's now just the blur

I have this right now

In my calm 

You make me sure

2:23am

Breaking the barrier to self

Looking without eyes

Becoming nothing else

Truth bending the lies

Freedom no longer feels

This time it's long

My monologue steals

What's called wrong

But this is a path

It's no different

It's nothing

It's always there

See it

But don't look

Seek

But don't try

Internal check ins.

No net

I forgot to give myself a net and I think I'm falling. Whoops.

Guitar resentments are flooring me like a truck off a bridge. I'm late to the party.

I'm hearing voices but I'm not a part of any conversation that isn't in my head. Is that good? I heard the comic has to get locked up inside his head.

Ok I'm here. What now?

The world erupts

Truth has consequences
Fear brings a safety
But it's not truth
Truth brings a danger
The whole world erupts with truth
Like a shattered glass window
The fractions will never be the same
I'm not that guy
The guy inside me is changing
I'm somehow different
What I'm coming to realize is it's not me
I'm not me
It was a dream
Am I an intruder?
This waking moment has sent me into an unrest
I'm unsure
Nothing from before is true
I just hold on to these stories
But they're not real
There is really nothing to hold on to
This pain in my back stops the movement
Movement is my only grace
My movement through space has taken a turn
The motion has ceased
This is also a dream
It doesn't stop and that's what will erupt your world